Even water is tasting like jack daniels
organizing the empties. That sober.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
