8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just gift wrapped bread.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
