forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
