apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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