They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
