Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
