Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
