Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
