There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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