I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My dick has a subreddit
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
