Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
