Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
