oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
How does it feel to date your dad?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
