Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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