maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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