Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Dicks are not precious.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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