Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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