I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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