I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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