I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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