Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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