I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
