Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
