I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
