On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
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so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
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Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
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