I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
What drink are we having for lunch?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think I just sharted jello shots
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