I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
