What a fucking waste of an outfit
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
