I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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