That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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