we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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