how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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