there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
