just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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