my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
