Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
