I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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