He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
