i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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