the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
