i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
