Little spoons don't ask big questions
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize