Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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