At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
