Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
