Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
