that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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