it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
