oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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