I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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