so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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