All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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