so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I am spending my child support on dildos
i love accidental penises.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
