he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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