My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
