My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
