is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
