If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
