I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
