Dual....:-)
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
