Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
