I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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