but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
