why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
