something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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